There were a moments before my children were home, before I knew them, that I wondered what it would feel like to be their mother. What does it feel like to be the mother to a child who didn’t grow inside of you? I heard others say, “Don’t you want children of your own?” Will it matter that he/she is not “one part me and one part him” as so many movies and TV shows like to describe the miracle of a child? We chose not to try to have biological children, so I can’t compare. I don’t have any little ones who spent 9 months inside of me. All I can tell you is what I know. These children are my own.
I know that when I look across the room and see my big boy grinning because he can’t believe he got another A on a math text, my heart bursts with pride and love. He says the little things that I say and whistles around the house just like his Papa. When my sweet girl giggles, it takes all of my will power not to squeeze her too tightly. Her eyes light up when I come home from shooting a photo session. My children are my joy. They are mine and I am theirs. Maya will never remember life any other way. I cannot imagine loving anyone more than I love my little family. There is no one who could convince me that if we had chosen to get pregnant that I could love that child more. It is not possible. Although my two children came into our lives in two different ways, with two very different paths, at different ages, I love them both with every bit of my heart. I am fiercely protective of them. I pray for them. I hope every day that I am being the mother that they need.
As adoptive parents, we often want to say that they love for our child is the same as the love someone has for a biological child, but I would argue that it is different. Certainly not less, but definitely different. I didn’t fall in love with them as they were developing inside the womb. I don’t love my children because they are a little part of me or my husband. I love them for exactly who they are, their past included. We had to fight for these children, through months of paperwork, heartaches, waiting and hoping. We didn’t know when they would be ours, but ours hearts have been theirs before they ever set foot in our home. These two babies are our own and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
-Jenn
Here is one image from our family photo session last week. There will be more of these soon :)
Chelsea M - That family photo is the bomb!!!
Stephanie - Isn’t it funny how children come into our lives and become such a permanent fixture? Even when my son was just a few weeks old, I had a hard time remembering what life was like before he was born. One minute it was like how has this much time gone by? But then I’d think how can he only be 6 weeks old? I feel like I’ve known him my whole life.
I think it all has to do with how God has prepared our hearts for the children he has planned for us. Adopted or homegrown, he knew all before they were formed.
Kristina Torbett - God brought our children to us from Guatemala and Taiwan, and they are definitely “our own”. They didn’t grow in my womb, they grew in my heart as I waited and prayed for their homecoming! God bless your family.
Brittany - Thank you for sharing this! My husband and I battle with these questions and/or comments often from others in our life. I know they don’t mean any harm from their comments but I so wish I could explain to them that the love that I have for my children is real. Not that their’s isn’t but oftentimes people view adoption as a second choice of family instead of first. I love the testimony that God has given us and our children!
Jess - LOVE this, Jenn. My heart and feelings got really hurt last week by an unassuming friend who kept referring to “your own” and “my own” and it was just painful to think that this person who I pray for and love and haven’t met would be considered anything less than my own. I love and totally agree that it’s most likely a different love but for sure not less. Your pics, and your family, are gorgeous.
Megan G. - This is so cute! I’m loving all of these pics lately of the parents kissing while the kids are laughing or just being cute kids. I think I need to have some taken of us!
I have 3 biological and we’re hoping to adopt, so of course I’m curious to see how the relationship will be similar/different with an adopted child. The three that we already have are so different from each other and we love them each uniqely from the others – I would imagine an adopted child would be the same way.